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TJ’s BUTTLOAD OF BLOGGING!

Hey.

It’s me, TJ.

Today’s BLOG is going to be broken down in three parts. I tell you this merely for conversation, I don’t expect you to care. Nor do I think it will affect your enjoyment any. I’m in a bad mood. But not for long, hopefully. I don’t understand people who wander around blissfully in a good mood. Nor do I understand people who constantly complain. Come to think of it, I don’t really understand people. In fact, I don’t even like people all that much. Oh, I try. But then someone will inevitably say something that will really stick in my craw.

Speaking of which…

BLOG PART ONE:Stick/Stuck in my Craw

So today BG was throwing down some sweet rhetoric (have you ever notice people who use the word “rhetoric” are just so freakin’ smug? what is that all about?) and managed to use the phrase “…really stuck in my craw”.

In all the years of knowing him I think it was the first time either of us had used that rad-ass phrase. And, as it turns out, I wasn’t happy he got there first.

In fact, after my brain confirmed with my ears that he used that phrase I quickly went through the classic seven stages: first, I was shocked and/or disbeliefed (that’s a word, right?) that he used it, second, I mentally denied that he used it (maybe he really said “…really trucked my pa” I thought before dismissing it as a really stupid thing to think he said), third, I made a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, fourth, I felt guilt for not using the phrase first, fifth, I became really angry that I didn’t use the phrase first, sixth, I was struck by a wave of depression (I was headed for weeks of Lucky Charms, long-johns, and my bed if not for) seventh, I made a quick mental note of all the people that I had harmed, and wanted to make amends with all of them.

Then I realized I had accidentally slipped in a couple steps from the 12 Steps of AA in there on accident. Which then made me realize I never wanted to do a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself ever, ever again. Which then made me realize I was standing around thinking really hard while BG had walked away.

In any event, I was pretty shaken up about the whole thing.

Why am I bringing this up? My reasoning is two-fold:

1) Educate: I did a little research and it looks like the phrase comes from referencing the “craw” which is synomous with the “crop” of an animal or insect. Which I guess is the gullet. Whatever. I’m not that good with research. That’s what Third Party Dave is for when he’s not getting wasted and throwing up on himself. I’ll give you a guess on which one he’s doing tonight…research for me or throwing up. Sadly, those are the only two options for him on a Wednesday night. Anyway, if something was to get stuck in a craw that would be pretty irritating. I would imagine. I don’t think I have a craw. Maybe it just tickles. What if we’ve gotten it all wrong? What if something stuck in a craw actually has a pleasurable affect. Or is it “effect”. Eh, pick whichever one works there.

2) Revenge: If BG wants to use cool expressions then I can do it too.

For your consideration, my top 5 phrases I’m going to use on BG Matt before he can use them on me.

5) Whew, my dogs are barking.

4) She’s all wool and a yard wide!

3) On ’em like a duck on a June Bug.

2) I have to take a jimmy riddle.

1) My personal favorite, “Boo-Yah!”

Suggestions welcome.

BLOG PART 2: Boglins

A couple episodes ago, while BG was struggling to load a picture of a Goblin Woman that a faithful listener had e-mailed us, I parlayed the word “Goblin” into a side bar conversation with Dave about Boglins. Unfortuanatley for me, Matt finally loaded the picture and thus, any and all Boglin-talk was lost into the ether.

Well, it’s a good thing I have access to this BLOG.

For those who don’t remember, BOGLINS were these awesome hand-puppet monsters that were pretty popular in the 80s. If you need a refresher check out the classic commercial HERE. I would embed the video but we don’t have the upgraded account so deal, okay?

Anyway, the neighbor kid across the street from me got a BOGLIN for his birthday and he was so frightened by it, his parents gave it to me. Since I was pretty perceptive from an early age I made the kid and his parents sign a waiver that they couldn’t demand the BOGLIN back in a day or a month or whenever the kid figured out that it wasn’t real.

It’s been a few years but I’m pretty sure the Boglin I had looked like this:

I’m not sure whatever happened to my Boglin but I do know that he began to acquire some heavy damage due to the fact that I would gnaw on his fingers and his tail like it was a pen cap or something. Oral fixation and all that, I guess.

Maybe I finally threw him out. Or maybe the neighbor kid snuck in and took him back. Which would be a violation of the “Boglin Accords of 1989” but it’s the kind of thing I expect out of him: I’m pretty sure he “borrowed” my Tiny Toon Adventures game for NES and just never gave it back. Who does that kind of thing?

The point is…I want a BOGLIN. Preferably without chew marks all over it. So, fair High Brour fans—do me a favor? Hook me up with a Boglin for free-sies. I don’t care how you get it but I want one! Maybe I shouldn’t use my position of power for this kind of thing but hey, I might as well try to get something out of this other then mental abuse by BG every week.

Brour Patch Homework: Procure TJ a Boglin hand puppet from the 80’s in good condition and give it to him as a present. You probably can use it as a tax write-off as a “prop for an internet radio podcast”. That wacky IRS is always coming up with something.

BLOG PART THREE: STEEL CITY CON

This weekend my wife and I will travel to the Steel City Con in Pittsburgh.

Why? Because they have a Golden Corral Buffet joint there and I’m fat.

BUT ALSO because I will finally live out my long-time dream of meeting:

Mr. Freakin’ Belding! Okay, sure, he’s a few pounds heavier and a few years older…

Oh, Jesus.

I mean, um.

Well, he’s happy!

So, hopefully we can strike up a conversation, I can pay him money for him to call me and my wife “Zach and Kelly”, and then we can follow him to whatever party is going on that night. Because if there’s a party, you know Mr. Belding is going to be there. In fact, the party doesn’t start until he gets wherever he’s going.

I’m crossing my fingers it’s a “Golden Corral”.

The other celebrity sighting we’re shooting for is Torrie Wilson.

She’s a former WWE Diva and most well known in my circle for this video HERE.

“No, Torrie, this isn’t a mop closet at all. This is…SHANGRI- LA.”

So, that should net a pretty good story when I ask her to re-enact that skit with myself playing Mr. McMahon and my wife playing Kurt Angle.

We’ll probably be asked to leave.

Before I forget, another reason we’re going to this show is that I want to show my wife that the fabled and once-though-an-urban-myth STEEL MAN is real. If you don’t know about STEEL MAN, STEEL DOG, STEEL MOM, and STEEL HOT CHICK, check out their official WEBSITE. You will be disappointed. No, that wasn’t a typo.

(He does exist!)

And, finally, to wrap this BLOG up…since it is a Toy, Comic, and Childhood Collectible Show the real main reason why we’re going is…

 

 

 

…so I can finally get my DAMN TECHNODRONE!!!

(if you missed that reference please refer to Episode 10: Tape O’ Rama HERE)

Anyway, I’ll be back NEXT weekend with a butt-load of stories (way funnier then a boat load of stories) and maybe some pictures to share. In the meantime, be sure to check out the NEW High Brour Podcast: Episode 16 sometime THIS weekend. BG should have it up in all the usual channels by Saturday night.

Thanks for listening! Feedback on my BLOG entry is welcome at tj@highbrour.com and be sure to leave a comment here or send an e-mail to our Official Show Mailbag at mailbag@highbrour.com!

-TJ

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