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A rebuttal to BG: Chicks in Hats

26 Jun

After last week’s Ladies Show where Baby Gorilla railed on chicks who wear hats, and the deal breaker it is for him, I felt it was only right to give voice to the thousands of women he may have offended.

As I said on the show, I’m a fan of chicks in hats. I’ve taken the liberty of stealing a few pictures off the internet to highlight some of my favorite examples. Maybe, just maybe, I can change BG’s unreasonable and completely wrong opinion.

Example 1: Classic Alex Mack

1994-1998 was a formidable time period in my adolescence to young adulthood transformation. Not only was I dealing with the awkward high school years I was also developing unhealthy crushes on Nickelodeon stars. Case in point: Alex Mack. Played by Larisa Oleynik, she was cute as a button and could turn herself into a puddle. Hot, right? As I said, it was an awkward few years.

The point is, would she have been as cute if she didn’t pull off the hat look? I say thee nay! Sorry BG, point one goes to the defense.

Example #2: Loophole

Here is Taylor Swift donning a vibrant red winter hat. Now, I have no idea if it’s a fashion statement or it’s actually cold outside but the point remains—what’s a girl to do in the winter? Will BG tell her to hit the bricks as soon she slips her luscious locks into a vibrant knitted cap? Or will he, like every other sane man, realize not only is it adorable, it’s weather acceptable?

With strong logic, point two to the defense, natch. (Aside- I hate people who use the word “natch”)

Example #3: Hunter/Gatherer

I don’t know what it is, but this completely ridiculous head-wear does something for me. Especially since it’s on Vanessa Hudgens.

My theory? It brings out the savage cave-man in me, who would gladly kill anything, eat the inside, and convert the skin and pelt as a hat for my child-rearing cave-woman back at home.

Sorry, BG, one more for the defense. I’ve got you on the ropes, buddy.

Example #4: Aw, crap.

I don’t know what the hell Victoria Beckham is wearing and I really don’t care. I just know she just ruined my whole entire case.

That thing is hideous. If just one women is going to put that on her head without a trace of irony, others might follow. And that’s not worth the risk.

The defense folds. Just leave hats to us, girls.

(For the record, I would wear this awesome hat without a trace of irony.)

-TJ

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2 responses to “A rebuttal to BG: Chicks in Hats

  1. BG's older and better sister

    June 26, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    hi-larious.

     
    • The Official BG

      June 27, 2011 at 2:06 pm

      That is some bullshit! No point was made. Especially in the case of Alex Mack where the top of her head looks like the tip of a penis, condom included! With all that makeup on Taylor Swift should be at a test facility for ugly clowns. The hat is the least of her problems. And as far as that atrocity Vanessa Hudgens is wearing, well….There’s nothing more to say. I think you made my point even stronger!

       

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